WhalleyBlog!

My last haircut was October 15 as you might recall my looking like I just took my head out of the toilet. This time I am going to go with the cheap haircut. It’s not that I don’t want to go get a nice head and should massage. It’s just that I don’t think paying $50 for a paper shredder haircut and 7 hair washings is justified. I’m going to check out the $10 haircuts this time. Perhaps for my next haircut I will know which is better and will be able to make a decision based on experiencing the full spectrum. In the end, I just don’t want to look like this anymore:

Click to see mugshots for having such long nasty hair.

My hair has never been this long. I’m pretty sure I’ve never gone 4 months without a haircut. I usually can’t stand it tickling my ears but this is past that stage. I’ve thought about going with the mullet look but the back grows so much slower than the rest. You never see people in the mid-mullet stage. You either see them with long hair all over or a full-grown mullet. I’ve never seen someone who I have wanted to compliment them on their mullet-in-training or congratulate them by saying “Hey, it looks like you’re growing a mullet there. It’s looking good, keep it up.” I think the process of attaining a mullet would be comparable to growing a tallgrass prairie in order to procure a well manicured lawn.

I have had to resort to blow drying my hair to prevent it from permanently looking like a wet dog. I hate shaggy hair on guys mostly because it always looks like a car wash gave them a swirly in Crisco. A nice blow dry and regular brushing helps prevent this. Of course it doesn’t prevent you/me from looking like Anne Heche, Kate Gosselin, or a fan tail crane from the back.

This hairstyle is popular for women but not for me.

I’m going to miss the warmth my hair has provided me. Haircuts in winter seem to be against our natural order. Bald people are at a disadvantage in winter so how arrogant are those of us with hair that we just cut ours off and throw it away as if we have an endless supply of this natural insulation. If I was bald, I would be upset. If any bald guys want my hair just ask and it’s yours.

UPDATE: I got my haircut and it was relatively painless. The job was surprisingly well done.